Time to move on

Three months ago tomorrow I had the most memorable day of my life. Unlike when I got married, when the day passed with such a blur, the BGR seems etched in such detail on my mind. Straight afterwards, the memories of it were random flashes of the event. Now, it all seems to have slotted into perspective and I can remember it all so vividly. It feels like I'm over it now and I am content in a job well done. Physically also, I feel recovered.

I did not manage the post BGR weeks so well. I tried to take advantage of the fitness I had so painstakingly built. However, all I could manage was a summer of very indifferent and tired running. It was clear that, as Ian Lancaster said to me during the BGR, I'd reached a point where all I was good at was doing big rounds. Borrowdale and Sedbergh were OK, but not so great, nothing like the shift in performance year on year as I saw at the Three Peaks in April. I had some very poor runs on short races and still lack the basic speed I had during the spring.

A month ago I was in serious danger of ceasing to enjoy running. Dave Knott, erstwhile coach and mentor, said I was burnt out and likened my gloomy frame of mind to grieving - with the BGR being the departed soul! He was right.

So, I decided to cut down to 2 or 3 runs a week and stop coaching at the club. I also decided to do some new events to keep things interesting. This has worked and I feel much better. By running once or twice during the week and once at the weekend, I'm not racing tired, preoccupied with how worn out I am, nor am I concerned about how fit I am. It's great! I have lost some fitness, but am still OK. I have done the Lakeland Mountain Trial and the splendid 30 mile Open to Offas under no pressure and have really enjoyed broadening my horizons a bit.

This last month of pressure free, enjoyment filled running has been the tonic I needed to respectfully put the BGR to bed. Next month's BGR dinner will close it off completely, and I'll be able to move onto the next challenge.

It's becoming clear to me that the BGR taught me things about myself beyond my abilities and limitations as a runner. I learned about how I like to live my life. I was never happier than during those months when I was training hard, getting stronger and focussing on a goal. Without it, I’ve simply existed hand to mouth. Work is not a sufficient replacement. I find my job frustrating and hard work, but not especially challenging. I’ve been thinking about a career change, but deep down I know that is not the answer. Provided that work pays me enough and keeps me interested and secure, I need to develop my non-work life by adding a goal. I'd like to replicate that feeling I had all through the spring and early summer.

But what to do next?

There is an obvious choice - Paddy Buckley.

Another 24 hour round! This time closer to home so easier to train and recce. Also, I would love to be able to claim all three classic rounds (the other being the Scottish Ramsey). I also believe the BGR will provide good experience and confidence. I also like this idea because it will be more of a discovery trip. I always knew the BGR fells well, but not so with Snowdonia. What better way to get to know these hills than to do the PBR? Alison would need some convincing, but I now know that I can use the Tattenhall railway and Moel Famau to get the '000's feet of climbing in during the week without too much disruption at home. Additionally, the Welsh hills are so much closer, so I can do some big days out without having to stay away overnight. Also, it's clear that I am happier when doing something like this, rather than a moody arse. She'll go for that I’m sure. OK I’m not sure!

There are also less obvious choices but are not necessarily less appealing...

Sub 3 hour marathon. I know, road running. However, i;ve been reasonably close. I like the feeling of speed you get when training for a road run. It's real contrast to what I’ve been doing. I liked the discipline of training for a marathon more than I thought I would. Homewise, this is also less disruptive. It's worth thinking about and would be a real feather in my cap. It is motivating enough and would slot well into a winter on the roads.

Perhaps I could go for a sub 3, and then move into a Paddy Buckley?!

Other ideas I’ve had focus on deriving new challenges, such as running the Antonine Wall in Scotland or a solo tilt at the Welsh Castles, but I wouldn’t mind getting some of the established challenges under my belt first, otherwise I'll just be itching to do them.

I've also thought about creating a new round, perhaps destined to become a classic alongside the Ramsey, Paddy Buckley and Bob Graham. Something in the Peak District or Yorkshire Dales could surely be worked out that has 60-odd miles and 25,000+ feet ascent? Not sure the Mark Smith round sounds catchy enough, so I might have to change my name if i do this. Oh, the vanity!

I'll decide for sure what's next after the BGR dinner, but now it's enough to recognise that I now find myself looking towards the future more often than I look back to the BGR. That tells me for sure that it is time to move on.