Postscript - Recovery and Reflection

A month has passed and it's only now that I feel sufficiently removed from the BGR to be able to adequately reflect on it. Up to now, the round has been replaying itself at random times and in random sequence, all in a surprising amount of detail. I often recall that wet and tough leg 4 - Nick, Steve and Sarah helping me into my waterproof trousers on Scoat Fell, Rich and Greg handing me cups of tea at Black Sail and going wrong on Pillar. I remember in detail both the excitement and tenderness of Alison, Liz and Cath during the road stops and the bewilderment on the faces of Rowly and Grez - two of my best and most longstanding friends who aren't fellrunners and have never seen me like this. Grez's face at Honister was more of a picture than mine. I still shudder with excitement when I remember how good I felt on leg one - how alive I felt. Romping down Blencathra in that sunset feeling the way I did was me at my absolute prime. I also recall those closing miles with embarrassment now. How can I have been so tetchy with people I think so much of?! Dale Head, Hindscarth and Robinson on leg five felt like a party was going on all around me. Leg 2 comes alive as a really fun leg with easy and relaxed company. Leg 3 immediately recoils thoughts of being in safe and expert hands.

Lately, I've found thinking about the whole thing as an event a bit easier. More than anything, I feel very content. I loved having this as a goal in my life and part of me is sad that it is gone, but a greater part of me is very relaxed and at ease. It's a great source of confidence that I know I can rise to challenges that previously seemed insurmountable and the preserve of other, stronger, more talented people.

I've been really keen to run, surprisingly. 8 days after then BGR I ran the Llyn Alwen trail race - a nice, undulating 11km run. I finished a creditable 24th from about 150 runners - I was amazed I could run at all! We went off to Crete for a week where I did no exercise apart from a couple of easy walks. After that, I ran regularly with the club. I was miles off the pace during speedwork and took ages to recover in the third week after the BGR. The following week I ran the Green Green Grass of home, 6 mile/1600' local fell race where I did much of my training. I ran quite poorly, having no speed and finishing 27th from 65, quite low down for me, with many people ahead of me that have been behind me all year. I felt good towards the end of this race and would have prospered had it been half as long again! Just goes to prove that my endurance is OK but my speed is not. One month after the BGR I did the Gritstone Tryal and was 5th - although the field was not strong. I was leading at one point (running into a tree did not help my cause!). That was a 13 mile race, and I felt better as time went on. One month has passed, but I still can't say that I've fully recovered. But I've recovered enough to enjoy racing - I just have to swallow my pride a bit when I'm beaten by people who I was so recently some way ahead of.

Borrowdale beckons on Saturday, 5 weeks after the BGR. My hope is that it goes well and my immediate aim to is return to competitive fell racing again. I'd love to get somewhere near four hours.... Generally though, this year's aim has been met.

People have asked me what the next challenge is. Right now I don't know. The Lakes are very dear to me, more so than many other mountain areas, and so I'm not sure I can get as worked up for the Paddy Buckley or the Ramsey. We'll see but they are obvious challenges to think about. First thing's first, let's have a good summer of racing (I've missed racing quite a lot, part of the sacrifice you should make for the BGR) and enjoy the BG meal in October! Alison can't wait to be a BGR-wag!

One possible next step is to write a guide to the BGR. So much information is swimming around on various forums, websites etc. There does not seem to be a single publication that describes the route. This could be an enjoyable undertaking, but part of the fun is gathering this information for yourself and I wouldn't want to ruin it for anyone. Still, it's a thought...

I've really enjoyed writing this blog. It's progress and development has, to some degree, mirrored my own. It started as a very matter of fact record of what I was doing and how it felt, and ended up becoming more and more introspective, whilst staying true to it's 'training log' roots.

I think that's what happened to me too. When I decided to start training for the BGR, it was all about miles, feet of ascent and getting some good physical training in. As the training went on, it was more about getting used to being tired, being out for a long time and coping in all weathers - which is really training the mind. My preoccupation started with 'how much can I do' and ended up being 'how am I feeling'; much like that of the blog. The key to success on the BGR is preparation, and so much of this is about preparing your mind.

If anyone reading this decides to do it, my one piece of advice to remember to enjoy every aspect of it. Enjoy the build up and don't wish it away. Enjoy the company you'll have in training and on the day. Enjoy getting things wrong and learning lessons on the way. Enjoy being knackered. Enjoy getting stronger. Enjoy dragging yourself out for a training session you are not in the mood to do. Enjoy putting the jigsaw pieces of your plan together. Enjoy buying new kit for the event. Enjoy getting to know the route. Enjoy not quite being able to explain to your workmates what is it you are contemplating. Enjoy hating the taper beforehand. Enjoy standing at the Moot Hall, scared stiff and with minutes to go. If you do all that, you will enjoy the BGR and you will succeed.

I'll finish by thanking everyone who helped and encouraged me. Your affect on me is impossible to express, as is the extent of my gratitude.

Mark